There's an important, easily missed difference between cherishing a person and possessing them — and the difference shapes almost everything about how intimacy is experienced in a marriage.
Two different postures
Possession says, "you exist to meet my expectations." Cherishing says, "I'm grateful for the gift of you." Possession demands; cherishing delights. Possession controls; cherishing protects. One treats a person as a means to an end. The other honors them as a fellow heir of God's grace.
How Christ treats his people
Christ never treats those who belong to him as possessions to be used. He treasures them, nourishes them, and patiently sanctifies them — never exploiting the knowledge he has of their weaknesses. That's the pattern a marriage is meant to reflect, especially in its most private, vulnerable moments.
What this looks like in the ordinary
Cherishing shows up less in grand romantic gestures than in the small, consistent choices of everyday life — a gentle tone chosen instead of an impatient one, attentiveness offered without being asked, tenderness that doesn't disappear the moment no one else is watching.
Where this goes next
A spouse who feels cherished, rather than merely possessed, is far more able to be fully present — emotionally and physically — because they're not bracing to be used. That safety is worth protecting deliberately, in the ordinary moments as much as the significant ones.